why when i think of sex, do i think of roughness? i am not immune to the
sickness. i am not.
gentle is good but when dirty is called for, i pause for a second before taking
my clothes off. i can no longer tell him to hold me down or choke me
without thinking of what the connotation is. i didn’t mean to make
it okay. i am not meaning to make it okay. it has
never been okay.
and the words bang bash smash
he says he would ‘hit that’. meaning he would like to have sex with
the person he is speaking about. it’s only slang, we all use it.
catchy phrases that stick. only words.
i tell myself that and i assume everyone else does. only they mean more
so much more
—control domination power
he wants to regain his manhood by putting women beneath him
thinks that maybe if he has us under control, he has his sense of self in
check so they bang bash smash all they want, just like the guys
on the computer. on top, commanding, his masculinity
Isabella Petrecca is a freshman at Boston University. She is studying biology in the College of Arts and Science. She has published a few works in her high school’s literary journal, The Hun Review. While she is usually joking around with her friends, she can also be found at the Feel Good Club making grilled cheeses at Warren Dining hall on Tuesday nights.